The End of the Twilight Era: Breaking Dawn Part 2 Movie Review ( Minor Spoilers )

I don’t particularly hate Twilight but I don’t particularly love it either. I just like to watch it because it is fun to watch. Plus there are hot guys who strip for no other reason than to show their washboard abs. Anyway, I’m a sucker for sequels. There’s just something about a ‘TO BE CONTINUED’ that keeps me wanting for more. It’s no surprise that I’ve probably seen almost all James Bond films, Resident Evil films, Lord of the Rings films, Harry Potter films and just about every other movie that has a sequel. Movies with sequels are compelling to watch.

Everyone probably knows the plot to the last Twilight film. But let’s just pretend that you’ve been hiding in a cave so here’s the plot: Bella and Edward have an immortal baby but apparently, because of faulty intel, the Volturi clan (a group of elite and powerful Italian vampires who surprisingly have British accents) is led to believe that Bella and Edward have created a vampire child. Turing a child into a vampire is a big No-No for the Volturis since it violates one of their many absurd vampire laws. So the Volturi come in full force to the territory of the Cullens in order to punish them for breaking the law.

Okay, the whole brouhaha could have been avoided if only Irina, the one who provided false intel, communicated with the Cullens. I mean, come on, in the age of cellphones, the internet, Facebook and Twitter, couldn’t she just have at least sent a text message  for confirmation. Something along the lines of “Hello Bella and Edward, I happen to have seen your daughter levitating, just confirming, have you created some kind of monster child?” Or she could have gone to Facebook or Twitter. I’m sure the proud parents of Renesmee would announce to the whole world that they have created an immortal child. I bet Bells and Ed would tweet, “#Renesmee can drink blood and or normal human food if she chooses to. Oh and she has super powers to boot!” Bet they’ll even add Instagram photos of their rapidly growing child. The proud parents would be happily posting pictures of Renesmee every 5 seconds since their baby girl is growing at an exceptionally rapid rate. But sadly, that is not to be since the movie producers have to recoup their investment. Heck, half of the movie’s budget goes to the insanely ridiculous salaries of the actors. The producers need to make some money so plot twists are necessary!

Breaking Dawn Part 2 is a surprisingly fun movie to watch. I mean, the ending is so cool! Let’s just say it is reminiscent of the ending of the movies Sourcecode and The Prince of Persia. I don’t want to give anything away. But there were several vampires who lost their heads.There were also many wolves who got killed. Or did they? I’m just trying to mess with your head.

The movie starts slow. In the first few scenes we get to see how Bella enjoys being a vampire. Who knew that becoming a vampire is equivalent to watching everything in HD (Hi-Definition) and in Dolby surround sound? Just to prove that she’s really a vampire, we see Bella jumping and running around like crazy. There’s even one scene where she’s glistening under the sunlight. I asked my sister why vampires get sparkly under the sunlight and she explained rather scientifically that since vampires have no circulatory system, their bodies are probably made of minerals. Hence, they sparkle under the sunlight. Okay, like that makes a lot of sense.I must add that Bella is meant to be a vampire since she’s so stiff anyway.

In Breaking Dawn Part Deux there are gratuitous sex scenes between Bella and Edward but only this time, Bella has turned into a vampire. Is it just me or do vampires have a boring sex life? I kind of liked the sex scene in Breaking Dawn Part 1 back when Bella was still human. At least the bed gets torn apart. Nothing exciting happens in Part 2. They didn’t even trash their house. I thought that vampires sound like cats when they make love. They didn’t even make any noise.

The most awkward and accidentally funny scene was when Jacob stripped in front of Charlie, Bella’s father. That was AWKWARD. The director figured that seeing Jacob’s pecs and abs would bring more dollars in. The only reason Jacob’s character has been added is to make young girls swoon. Poor Charlie, he must have been traumatized after seeing a young boy stripping naked in front of him.

What I didn’t like about the film are the strange scenes where Bella’s baby is obviously a fake CGI child. I don’t know why they couldn’t just hire a newborn baby to play the part. I know they had to get the baby to ‘stare’ in a certain way, but making the baby fake just makes it all the more creepy.

After five Twilight films, I still completely hate Alice’s wig. Can’t they get her a more natural looking hair? Her hair is totally distracting. Just like the other four Twilight films, the other characters are relegated to the sidelines. Most of their characters are underdeveloped and serve only to drive the plot forward. It’s all about Edward and Bella. There is however, one notable vampire named Garrett, played by Lee Pace (from Pushing Daisies). His character is exceptionally sexy and just oozes with sex appeal. He has that whole disheveled, aging rock star look. But I doubt that they would make a Twilight: Middle Aged Edition. But boy is that character steaming hot. So instead of Edward, I’ll post Garrett’s picture here.

As to be expected from a movie that teaches abstinence first before marriage, Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2 gets a happy ending. But does it really? Again, I’m just messing with your head.

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3 thoughts on “The End of the Twilight Era: Breaking Dawn Part 2 Movie Review ( Minor Spoilers )

  1. Pingback: The final Twilight movie is like a porn film with action figures « The Twilight Fun Blog

  2. Pingback: Something Wicked This Way Comes: another Interlude « FanFiction Fridays

  3. Pingback: Her Final Days chapter 11 « FanFiction Fridays

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